If I am not in the active process of worrying I feel like something is missing. I start looking around as if searching for misplaced keys “Where did it go? I was worrying about something what was it again?”
When did this happen? Sometimes I feel like I was born with it, this inscessant need to always be worrying as if worry in itself can change things. “If I worry enough about my weight it will motivate me to diet.” or “If I worry enough about my health it will motivate me to exercise.” or ‘If I worry enough about my kids then they will always be safe and sound.” or “If I worry more about my job maybe I will be a better employee.” It’s crazy. My brain is crazy.
God promises us that worry doesn’t change anything, but I am addicted. I think I am going to start weaning myself off. I am going to give Worry a vacation for a day or two and see what happens. When it wants to creep back in I will say, “Nope. Sorry Worry today is not your day.” I think I will give Worry something like two or three days off each week. If that goes well I will fire him (or her) for good.
The young girls in our youth group broke my heart tonight. The worry was so deeply present in their voices when they talked about their bodies. I wish I could reach in and take the worry right out of their minds. I can’t do that. But what I can do is practice taking it out of my own life so I can better love and serve them with real life victories of my own.
So, tomorrow is Thursday and I think I will start then. No worrying about what I will wear, eat, or drink. No worrying about my kids or husbands or friends…just loving on them (worry free) instead. Come to think of it, I think this sounds familiar. I think I have heard of this idea before. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6:25-26
I like this plan. I never really liked Worry anyway. Worry is an unwanted, unyielding, and harmful companion. Freedom and peace sound much better. Is this possible? Maybe not with me…but I know with God all things are.