I am going to be honest, thinking about tomorrow really freaks me out. Before Gideon I naively thought that tomorrow would always be wonderful, full of everything good and easy all the time. Now I am constantly tempted to look at the future always in fear. Grimly thinking that tomorrow will be full of more loss, more suffering, more pain, more death.
In my tomorrow I imagine that I might never be pregnant again.
In my tomorrow I imagine that if I do get pregnant again I might lose that baby too.
In my tomorrow I imagine that cancer, death, sickness, tornadoes, sink holes, tsunamis, and killers are all going to get me or my family. Probably all at the same time too.
In my tomorrow my brain has decided to constantly fear, because if something bad can happen that means it will.
It always amazes me how perfect God’s Word is. How specifically and intimately He talks to us, knowing exactly where our vulnerabilities will lie. Can you believe that God knows we will be inclined to fear tomorrow? Can you believe that God knows we will be tempted to live in fear? If something bad has happened to us we immediately fear something even worse will happen next and if nothing bad has ever happened to us we are waiting for the hammer to fall. In His greatness God has created us with no other choice but to live in faith, in today, unable to know what tomorrow brings and yet trusting that He will be there no matter what.
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise—in God I trust and am not afraid.” Psalm 56:3-4
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.” Isaiah 26:3-4
“Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered forever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.” Psalm 112:6-8
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:4-7
Truth is we don’t know what tomorrow will bring and a wise pastor once told me “You are right Maria, all those things could happen.” But today? Today I will trust. I will soak up whatever my today brings and be intentional about not looking past that.
For me right now that looks like saying “no”…a lot. It looks like spending a lot more time laughing with my family and friends and being still…a lot. It looks like being very intentional about what I do with my time, afterall my today is very important for it is where I find my hope and my peace and my trust. Not many things are important enough for me to allow distractions from what I learned to be most important.
Yup, tomorrow might not be so great. But with Christ by my side, my goodness, I am going to soak up every second of today.
Been there lived it, felt it, survived it, and struggle with it everyday. All I can do is put THE armor on every day. After Matthew we felt it all through Nick’s pregnancy, praying EVERY night the Lord’s Prayer. Felt it during a wind storm when my daughter was a senior in HS. “Come home it’s windy!” Fear has a way of sucking the life, the joy right out of you. Fear is a powerful weapon, good job beating it back with God’s might.
Maria you are so right, what is tomorrow, what if, and what if, ifs is just giving it up to Christ, and he will help us. He has helped me in the 24 years my son is gone, There are times yes it is sad, but you can be sad, Jesus mom was said, But there is always tomorrow and joys. I love you so, I love you strength, I love Gideon for showing us the way. He has helped me in my path after 20 years. I pray everyday for the strength for you and your family to carry on. I love you Aunt Barbara
When I read this post, I see once again the gifts you have received from your son. Sweet little Gideon, taught his Mommy the all the things she so eloquently put into words:
“. . . . Yup, tomorrow might not be so great. But with Christ by my side, my goodness, I am going to soak up every second of today.”
The morning of Gideon’s birth, I felt fear. Fear of how the delivery would go, fear of how everyone would react, fear of not being able to comfort my sad children; but Gideon’s peace took all of our fear away. Yup, sweet Gideon taught Grandma Debbie not to fear the unknown and to trust in Him. So I’m with you, Maria, rather than fear tomorrow, I’m going to try and soak up all the ways that I’m blessed today!
Amen Grandma Debbie, Amen!