Have you ever had something roll over in your mind for so long, detail by detail, that you just wish you could take a vacation from your own brain?
Like you feel like you need to run away, but you can’t, because the problem is actually you?
Its as if thought by thought the lies threaten to take over any last semblance of sanity you have and there you are, stuck. Like you just can’t turn your thinking to the off position?
I wonder if I am alone. This perfectionist, people pleasing, workaholic, and constantly trying to keep up with all the things brain of mine drives me bonkers. I get lost in a mouse trap of stressful thoughts and sometimes I wonder if I will ever break free.
What is it for you? What are the smaller details of your life that you just cannot seem to land in a place where you feel content and comfortable?
It could be clothes shopping. To buy or not to buy. To wear or not to wear. To spend or not to spend (eek!).
It could be child rearing. To Kraft or not to Kraft. To allowance or not to allowance. To discipline or not to discipline (double eek!).
To social media or not to social media.
To diet or not to diet.
To call that friend or not to call that friend.
To seclude or not seclude.
Will. it. ever. end?
I attest it will not, and I hate that (triple eek).
This brain of mine needs a resting place and I am praying for one for yours too. Sometimes when I talk to God I ask Him why His manual for life was not more specific. I say, “God how much easier this all would have been if you just told me in your Word how many vegetables a day I need to force feed my children.”
To then His always peace filled, always kind, always loving and true voice pops in, “But my sweet child, where is the freedom in that?”
Blasted. He is always so right.
Then in my weekly readings I come to Romans 14 and astoundingly I am stopped straight in my worrying tracks.
I am using the NIV version, but may I pop my name in there for emphasis?
“Maria, one man (or woman) might consider one day more sacred than another; another man or woman considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord” (Romans 14:5-8).
And in this my soul and my mind sigh a great big sigh of relief.
Just do it unto the Lord.
With God at the very forefront of my brain I proceed in all the small things. Knowing full well that God has offered me this freedom.
May we together, hand in hand, stop looking to the right or left at what the other people are doing. It matters none to our lives. For what they do unto the Lord is between them and God. What we do unto the Lord is the only thing God is looking at.
As I stated earlier, this feels easier said than done. My brain so slow to catch up to my spirit. It helps me so much to confess it out, list by list, detail by detail to a God who is waiting to hear my heart.
Since I am among friends, I will share my Unto to Lord List of Freedoms with you in hopes that it might help you make yours:
Unto the Lord I will cook my meals on weekdays and find freedom in not cooking on weekends.
Unto the Lord I will find no food unfit for my lips, but will take care to make moderation a practice.
Unto the Lord I will bring my kids to church on Sunday, and if on occasion we need an at home day that is okay too.
Unto the Lord I will not look at my body as a thing, but as a prize given to me.
Unto the Lord I will participate in Social Media when I feel comfortable to do so.
Unto the Lord I will hate cleaning my house, doing laundry, and picking up toys for the umpteenth time but will make every effort to do so with a glad and joyful heart.
Unto the Lord I am okay with being seen without my makeup on, possibly even looking tired.
Unto the Lord when I fail at these things I will confess with full voice remembering well that In Jesus I still need my Savior.
For you my sweet friend, today may peace come with the freedom. With me, may you take a great big breath and let go of all the decisions that hinder you from peace. All the comparisons, may they drop off too. And may your mind find rest.
